New Year... Same Mission (educate, empower, and entertain...) The journey continues with me...

Today's Quotation:

Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.

Aisha Elderwyn

Today's Meditation:

New Year's resolutions do not necessarily have to be about changing a negative aspect of ourselves. Sure, we have flaws, and it is good to be aware of them and to work at reducing or eliminating them. But when we only look at the negative, and direct all our energies on only fixing what is wrong, we often find ourselves facing more difficulty and failure that generally leaves us no better off than we were before. Perhaps as Aisha mentions, the trick instead is to look for potential and places in our lives where we can excel.

When we spend our time focusing on things that we do well, and work hard to become even better at them, we set ourselves up for a high margin of success. And it is far easier to make positive changes in our lives when we are met with success instead of failure. Thus, with each little success we come that much closer to meaningful and lasting change.

This year, instead of looking for all the things you would like to fix in your life, focus on the things that you do well and work at getting even better at them. Just imagine the potential that you might create for yourself and the wonderful things you might accomplish. Remember, the most effective way we can strengthen our gifts is to use them to grow and further ourselves. So why not "just be yourself" this year and work on being the best version of yourself that you can be.

Today's Challenge: Resolve to change and build up a positive aspect of yourself this year.

Questions to consider:

What does it mean to you "to just be yourself?"

What are a few things you are good at? How much time do you spend developing those gifts?

What kinds of activities can you do to develop your own strengths?

For further thought:

In this new year, may you have a deep understanding of your true value and worth, an absolute faith in your unlimited potential, peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty, the confidence to let go when you need to, acceptance to replace your resistance, gratitude to open your heart, the strength to meet your challenges, great love to replace your fear, forgiveness and compassion for those who offend you, clear sight to see your best and true path, hope to dispel obscurity, the conviction to make your dreams come true, meaningful and rewarding synchronicities, dear friends who truly know and love you, a childlike trust in the benevolence of the universe, the humility to remain teachable, the wisdom to fully embrace your life exactly as it is, the understanding that every soul has its own course to follow, the discernment to recognize your own unique inner voice of truth, and the courage to learn to be still.

Janet Rebhan

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

The skills that promote good communication and constructive resolution of conflict are, among others: selfdisclosure, explaining, active listening, perspective taking, reframing, and brainstorming. Tests of these skills, particularly active listening and perspective taking, show that is is helpful when at least one person in a conflict makes an attempt to listen fully and understand the point of the view of the other person.

1. Self-disclosure

When you self-disclose, you reveal to the listener some aspect of how you are feeling, especially that which you might have been trying to conceal. You also share with the listener what it is that you really need, without engaging in bargaining ploys to manipulate the listener.

2. Explaining

When you explain, you provide the listener with information about aspects of the situation that you are most concerned about. Both selfdisclosure and explaining must be done without using language that is blaming or disrespectful of the other person.

3. Active listening

When you actively listen, you turn your full attention to the overall message of the speaker, as well as the details, rather than focusing on your own concerns or on counterarguments. You also provide feedback to the speaker in order to ensure that you understood the message. The feedback may involve paraphrasing what you think the speaker said, and asking questions to clarify. It should not include an evaluation of, or a counterargument to, what the other person said; rather, it should be an attempt to understand the other person’s needs and concerns as he/she sees them.

4. Perspective taking

Perspective taking is largely an internal process in which you try to understand how it might feel to be the other person in the situation. It is fostered by active listening. In other words, perspective taking is trying to understand the other person’s needs, concerns, difficulties, and pain in this situation. It is often referred to as “putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.” Perspective taking and active listening can help move the situation from an adversarial one in which your needs are pitted against the other person’s, to a collaborative one in which you are working with the other person to satisfy both sets of needs.

5. Reframing

Reframing proceeds from active listening and involves moving further away from an adversarial ‘‘me against you’’ situation toward seeing the situation as a mutual problem to be solved collaboratively. It can be initiated by such statements as ‘‘what can we do so that you get what you need which is … and I get what I need which is...?’’

6. Brainstorming

Brainstorming comes after active listening and reframing, and involves coming up with as many solutions as possible for the problem, without critiquing them at first, and then narrowing them down to come up with the solution or set of solutions that best fits everyone’s needs. Generating many solutions, quickly and without evaluation, can help with creativity, and lead to unexpected resolutions.