We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.

Today's Quotation:

We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.

Virginia Satir

Today's Meditation:

It is hard to believe just how much time I have wasted worrying about how other people have seen me, what they have thought of me, what they have considered me to be, the value they have seen in me. I somehow grew up putting a great deal of value in other people's perceptions of who I am and what I am worth, even when those people really have not known much about me at all.

Because of this tendency, I have made many of my decisions in life based on what I have thought other people would think about me and my decisions actions. I have rejected possible relationships because of what I thought other people would think about me if I went out with a certain girl. I have not pursued certain careers because of the judgments that I was sure other people would pass on my choice of professions. I have not pursued certain passions because I did not want people to think less of me.

I have also lost an amazing number of opportunities in my life. And while I am not going to spend today regretting what I did or did not do yesterday, I know that my life could be much more fulfilling today if I had not worried so much about what others thought earlier in my life. I wanted to be the person that I thought others wanted to see, so that they would accept me more fully. But that acceptance would have been conditional, which is the worst type of acceptance that we can possibly pursue.

I knew a man once who wanted to be a lawyer because that is what his father expected from him. His dad had defined him, defined his likes, his dislikes--his very life. But his dad did not have to live that life.

I need to define myself. My tastes, my preferences, my passions, my likes and dislikes--all need to come from me if I am to live a genuine and authentic life. They need to come from my heart and my spirit, not from what I think others want to see in and from me. If I allow others to define me and who I am, then I am allowing others to do so from a very limited and distorted position, and I am setting myself up for major disappointment in life.

Questions to consider:

Who defines who you are? How is that definition reached? 

I define who I am... my education, experiences, and employment define who I am. I am a man who educates, empowers, and entertains, mostly on daily basis. I had a far reaching radio show called Eclectic Perspectives and hope to get another season started in 2013 with +Anjene Davis , +Ashley Mitchell , +Ayasha Calloway , +Courtney MacDermid , and +Philicia Baugh. 

Why do we sometimes give others the power to decide who, what, or how we should be or act? 

I feel we sometimes give people such power because we want their approval or we look up to them for guidance and to show us a better way, so we may conform in order to get their blessings. All too often though, we find that it is never enough.

How can we take back the right and ability to define ourselves? What will be some of the positive results if we do so?

We simply must do it, no steps defined, One must simply decide and make it manifest. By defining ourselves we indicate the end goal and what we must do so when accomplished, we know that we have succeeded. 

For further thought:

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me--or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

Stacey Charter